Elevator fobia

We hate sharing elevators with other people. The art of avoiding this stressfull activity is mastered by the Swedes, who manouver like mad in order to not take the elevator with the neighbours. The phenomenon proved to be funny and characteristic during a chat with the dear Mikaton, who told me about sharing a taxi with a Lebanese lady and her two kids. Sharing a taxi! Dear God!

Reaching the entrance to our building means a nervous looking around for familiar faces from the same straircase. A familiar face brings the threat of 30 most embarrassing seconds in the life of a Swede who is shy and antisocial by nature. A sigh of relief if we enter and are alone waiting for the elevator. A nervous smile and overly enthusiastic "Hej" - if there is someone waiting with us. The greeting has to be very friendly and kind of "Howfantastictoseeyouonthisrainyday, whoeverinhellyouare", otherwise one can be sure to be gossiped about. We enter, the one who stands closest to the buttons interviews the others about their destination (embarrassing if you are going to the same floor and not recognise each other), presses the proper ones and the ride begins. You do not talk, you try not to breath since it's too personal, inpolite, abusive, you try to avoid the eye contact for the same reasons. You simply pray for the ride to end. You reach your fifth floor, throw a thankful "Hej" behind your back and promise yourself to always take the stairs. Climbing will make your butt firmer and prolong your life by avoiding the unnecessary stress.

While in Poland, we experienced some relaxed, friendly rides in the elevator of my parents' house, the place where I was born and raised. L looked amazed and fascinated in how I transformed from a individualistic bitch into the elevator queen, sharing personal observations about Swedish men with the legendary Mrs Gozdzik (her name means Carnation, no kidding) from the ninth floor.

Back to Sweden we promised ourselves to import some of the elevator openess to the new place where we are moving in January. Or the next one, where we will move after that. Yeah.